..............And pretend that Russia somehow has a real deal in "making minerals," and producing Uranium and smart defenses through me. Whatever the motive, and tough economics, I believe it is possible that Russia is responsible for what happened today.
It is hard to decipher my actual surroundings and settings. Could my workplace really be to blame, or is it racketing that is really planned solely for me?
I see the corruption and tricks and cats, but I can't see motives, agendas, and what some people are after.
My highest assumption is someone that I will have to stand up against in a catty way. I hate on people often for their cowardice, but I am being real with my vulnerable reality and predators. He knows who he is; I even lipped words to him. I can see in his position how he could get away with it, but it is still TOTALLY WRONG TO DO.
I know I was being watched. I'm not going to make a comment about the people who know it on the down low.
In either case, even if there was "a good guy," it is embarassing. It is feeling and knowing that there is a large audience that is secret and I am in the dark and being put on the spot.
The guy who was playing cold-blooded dirty was so inappropriate and degrading with a compared objectified language. He definitely was not out to turn me on; he did intentionally try to humiliate me. I had a clever way of fighting back a little with what I was given to work with and said there was a cold war going on between Geico and State Farm and if State Farm was to be taken seriously, than State Farm would have to have the solid, truthful, backed up truth and take it to "Rome" (not in a perverted way but exploited way to bash Geico.
The other guy who was a little more innocent, it was still awkward and embarassing and not something I want to think about or bring up.
I reminded myself of the Amanda Knox trial and hate to go there with sexual harassment, but I think I confused myself more when I brought it up.
~I need an escapable therapy~
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Have to find more ways to think outside the box
The past couple of weeks have not been bad. There were days I made some decent money, but today definitely was not one of them. Plus, it was freezing all day. I did wear my thermals but I called it a day a little bit earlier this week.
I have been trying with one business to do a consignment and put my makings on display, but have yet to get a hold of him.
I also have yet to finish a couple of more mosaics and get in tough with the right manager to put them up on display as well.
I still have yet to take the knitting class I need to take, but I wish I had a little bit more sophisticated work I could sell. At the flea markets though, I don't think most people would spend more than what I am charging now to want to pay for anything more. I definitely am going to look for a place that has a craft show in December and am probably going to have to wait until the last minute to plan.
There wasn't really many stories this week of any discrimination pressure. I think there may have been some pervert comments, but I'm use to being numb anyway.
The cold weather does make me feel a little exhausted though.................
I have been trying with one business to do a consignment and put my makings on display, but have yet to get a hold of him.
I also have yet to finish a couple of more mosaics and get in tough with the right manager to put them up on display as well.
I still have yet to take the knitting class I need to take, but I wish I had a little bit more sophisticated work I could sell. At the flea markets though, I don't think most people would spend more than what I am charging now to want to pay for anything more. I definitely am going to look for a place that has a craft show in December and am probably going to have to wait until the last minute to plan.
There wasn't really many stories this week of any discrimination pressure. I think there may have been some pervert comments, but I'm use to being numb anyway.
The cold weather does make me feel a little exhausted though.................
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Desperate Tumors
I actually had a couple of laughs.......
And offenses.........
Which couple do I begin with? In addition I do not believe that all drama revolves around me; I'm sure there are other people connected as well.
Mike and Susan. I have one good guess at who Mike could be; I'm keeping it in the DL. I do not know all of the details of the drama or what this particular person is up to, but I see the job in Alaska more of an avoidance than actual "provision." I do need him to be avoidant though. He already knows why. And, I really do not expect him to provide for me.
My next gamble is that I have another Tomcat and it is the least of likely people I would have suspected to want to be my Tomcat. He has hurt me a little, but I've been more comfortable around him than looking at him like he is a predator. I won't deny that the prowing turns me on. I wish I could remember what was said on a particular night that I was hanging around him and his friends. I was so overwhelmed, exhausted, and I think he may have been saying some things about either me or my sister. I don't know. Too much drama and trauma at once. I would give him another chance if he really was interested in me. But, if he seriously wants me to be serious, he needs to be closer and not playing the field.
I can't help but laugh at the entire Paul drama. He rigs it where I put a gun to my head at the end, but don't know I'm doing it. It has two different endings if one doesn't workout: the alternate is a typical denial and saying that "Beth" is really someone else. Either way, the story is not competent at all. It is competent with Susan's anger (even though I still say Susan's stripper story is a tumor), but it isn't a puzzle where I can see the responsible identity. As for Beth, no I'm not a virgin, and I still may not know who Paul is. And if it is the strongest assumption I think, I'm not saying I would or wouldn't. It isn't a situation that I want to toy with. It is something that I instinctively need to stay away from for my own safety.
Lastly, is Bree and her drama story. I'm confused with Bree. A reminder at how much I relate to her's and Sid's world as Bermuda. If it is Sid's girlfriend. Another assumption could be Megan. Arrogant bitches, whoever Bree is, I really don't know but she is arrogant and a L-I-A-R. Liar. The other guy looks like Mick, and he wants his explanation to be that I was hitting on Bree? What a lying coward. He even makes me out to be a man where it is ok to hit a man. What a lying piggish stupid coward. Arrogant corrupt idiots.
With Eva, it is cute comedy. I really don't want negative drama with Eva. I know who's puppy I am, and I'm letting everyone know that Desperate Housewives is a bad influence to nudge me more towards my puppy crush. You guys are going to get me in trouble.
That is all I can think of for now.
And offenses.........
Which couple do I begin with? In addition I do not believe that all drama revolves around me; I'm sure there are other people connected as well.
Mike and Susan. I have one good guess at who Mike could be; I'm keeping it in the DL. I do not know all of the details of the drama or what this particular person is up to, but I see the job in Alaska more of an avoidance than actual "provision." I do need him to be avoidant though. He already knows why. And, I really do not expect him to provide for me.
My next gamble is that I have another Tomcat and it is the least of likely people I would have suspected to want to be my Tomcat. He has hurt me a little, but I've been more comfortable around him than looking at him like he is a predator. I won't deny that the prowing turns me on. I wish I could remember what was said on a particular night that I was hanging around him and his friends. I was so overwhelmed, exhausted, and I think he may have been saying some things about either me or my sister. I don't know. Too much drama and trauma at once. I would give him another chance if he really was interested in me. But, if he seriously wants me to be serious, he needs to be closer and not playing the field.
I can't help but laugh at the entire Paul drama. He rigs it where I put a gun to my head at the end, but don't know I'm doing it. It has two different endings if one doesn't workout: the alternate is a typical denial and saying that "Beth" is really someone else. Either way, the story is not competent at all. It is competent with Susan's anger (even though I still say Susan's stripper story is a tumor), but it isn't a puzzle where I can see the responsible identity. As for Beth, no I'm not a virgin, and I still may not know who Paul is. And if it is the strongest assumption I think, I'm not saying I would or wouldn't. It isn't a situation that I want to toy with. It is something that I instinctively need to stay away from for my own safety.
Lastly, is Bree and her drama story. I'm confused with Bree. A reminder at how much I relate to her's and Sid's world as Bermuda. If it is Sid's girlfriend. Another assumption could be Megan. Arrogant bitches, whoever Bree is, I really don't know but she is arrogant and a L-I-A-R. Liar. The other guy looks like Mick, and he wants his explanation to be that I was hitting on Bree? What a lying coward. He even makes me out to be a man where it is ok to hit a man. What a lying piggish stupid coward. Arrogant corrupt idiots.
With Eva, it is cute comedy. I really don't want negative drama with Eva. I know who's puppy I am, and I'm letting everyone know that Desperate Housewives is a bad influence to nudge me more towards my puppy crush. You guys are going to get me in trouble.
That is all I can think of for now.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Family, Finances, Enemies
Like I said, I am not on good terms with my family.
Once again, whoever is responsible for handling my families business, is a fuck up.
I hate the people who think they are entitled to exploit any of us. Fucking idiots and pigs. There is a more reasonable way to deal with things, if I knew who was responsible, they would be the last person I would EVER consider talking to or working with. We are not your entertainment. I think I am the better leader still when it comes to handling my own personal relations, even if I'm not on good terms. Grubby handed media pigs, I hate you.
I don't trust my family either. There is not one person in the world I trust, but to force us live in continued exploits is sick and unreasonable. By now, there should have been answers and solutions to issues that are going on. But what is the person who is in charge of the exploits doing? MAKING THINGS MUCH WORSE. They are a fucking idiot who doesn't have any clue what they are doing.
I'm sick of the bullshit interrogations and demonizations as well, I think my old boss Denny from YAP who William Shatner may be foodstamping is one of the people behind it. Denny, you're just an arrogant man who is pissed that I really am confident. I see you as being insecure when you are so demonizing and harassing. Back the fuck off; you don't own me.
There are still lists of other people, but I'm sick of the harassment. People are ridiculous. Get over it.
..........................................
Finances, a have a couple of chores to get out of the way to declare official bankruptcy. I hate this, but I'm actually starting to feel a relief in my own way in this mess.
...............................................
This article, I just don't get:
http://www.luxist.com/2010/10/27/the-battle-over-murakamis-versailles-exhibit/?icid=main%7Chp-laptop%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk1%7C180609
I am very lost in the sound on this one.
I don't know why I should be the punished one for being mildly flirtatious after someone else was the initiator to make a pass at me.
I also do not understand the disrespect of a death connection either or how they puzzled that together. Do they represent themselves, or are they someone else's foodstamp?
I really do not get the big picture here, but it also looks like someone else said that I feel the same way and match their same offense.
When people operate and network like they do, I really feel no shame or guilt in my responses to them. I am not a slave. I refuse to be a victim and scapegoat.
.........................................
I'm still angry overall.
Once again, whoever is responsible for handling my families business, is a fuck up.
I hate the people who think they are entitled to exploit any of us. Fucking idiots and pigs. There is a more reasonable way to deal with things, if I knew who was responsible, they would be the last person I would EVER consider talking to or working with. We are not your entertainment. I think I am the better leader still when it comes to handling my own personal relations, even if I'm not on good terms. Grubby handed media pigs, I hate you.
I don't trust my family either. There is not one person in the world I trust, but to force us live in continued exploits is sick and unreasonable. By now, there should have been answers and solutions to issues that are going on. But what is the person who is in charge of the exploits doing? MAKING THINGS MUCH WORSE. They are a fucking idiot who doesn't have any clue what they are doing.
I'm sick of the bullshit interrogations and demonizations as well, I think my old boss Denny from YAP who William Shatner may be foodstamping is one of the people behind it. Denny, you're just an arrogant man who is pissed that I really am confident. I see you as being insecure when you are so demonizing and harassing. Back the fuck off; you don't own me.
There are still lists of other people, but I'm sick of the harassment. People are ridiculous. Get over it.
..........................................
Finances, a have a couple of chores to get out of the way to declare official bankruptcy. I hate this, but I'm actually starting to feel a relief in my own way in this mess.
...............................................
This article, I just don't get:
http://www.luxist.com/2010/10/27/the-battle-over-murakamis-versailles-exhibit/?icid=main%7Chp-laptop%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk1%7C180609
I am very lost in the sound on this one.
I don't know why I should be the punished one for being mildly flirtatious after someone else was the initiator to make a pass at me.
I also do not understand the disrespect of a death connection either or how they puzzled that together. Do they represent themselves, or are they someone else's foodstamp?
I really do not get the big picture here, but it also looks like someone else said that I feel the same way and match their same offense.
When people operate and network like they do, I really feel no shame or guilt in my responses to them. I am not a slave. I refuse to be a victim and scapegoat.
.........................................
I'm still angry overall.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Business what?!?!?!
I know I am an independent craft seller.
This was a slight relief to hear, but its still not good news:
http://www.aolnews.com/world/article/irans-mahmoud-ahmadinejad-calls-for-us-leaders-to-be-buried/19658555?icid=main%7Chp-laptop%7Cdl1%7Csec3_lnk1%7C175080
I mean relief in a catty way.
I feel business is far from being related to business. Most issues and problems that I deal with are not even business related. I want to grow more with networking, more crafting ideas, more sales, more growth as a business overall.
I feel bombarded on all ends.
I feel tested, manipulated, interrogated, accused, harassed in a variety of ways including sexual harassment.
I almost feel I have to adjust and adapt all work experience to feeling so bombarded, the bombardment pattern never seems to end.
Yes, there are some sales, there is some literal business talk.
It is very draining though. Very draining.
I feel mostly tested with the race issue. Extremely hawkish race testing. I learned a new hat just last week. A Kufi hat. It was made to order and he hasn't met up with me yet. Fine, maybe I profiled a little. Until I have enough Kufis made to sell as themselves, I only pinpoint men that look foreign as arab, muslims, or africans. Look in wikipedia and see the literal description of the Kufi:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kufi
Women and the average white person do not typically wear them. OMG just shoot me why don't you.
Also, I did cat it down to say: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It is a lighter interpretation of: When life gives you Mo (sexual harassment and degradations), make mosaics. I'm not being a pervert with people. The mosaics are not meant to be sexually perverse. They are very abstract in design. I see how people of fame connect themselves to my art, but I have spent all summer making my mosaics. I was not the person who made the choice to connect my art to people.
After feeling harshly accused, one circular box almost looks like a swastika, but it is a lie. Its not a design I was even trying to make, it is not an ultimate design of a swastika. It was meant to be another swirly design.
I'm not talking about sexual harassment experienced today.
I pick up on small hints of people all of the time. It is not a direct insinuation, some people may not even consciously know what they are saying.
I have random purposeful distractions.
Awkard people and people who are difficult and complicated to have simple communication.
To top it off, is knowing I am being watched and even sometimes hearing the reactions of the people who watch me.
Sick of whoever the stupid leader is who is trying to give a Spanish Inquisition. I think it is the matrix man who should be the embarassed one.
Even when it is my own business, people still want to tell me what to do.
In networking and learning new places or crafting ideas, I do not mind suggestions.
But my business is MY BUSINESS.
This was a slight relief to hear, but its still not good news:
http://www.aolnews.com/world/article/irans-mahmoud-ahmadinejad-calls-for-us-leaders-to-be-buried/19658555?icid=main%7Chp-laptop%7Cdl1%7Csec3_lnk1%7C175080
I mean relief in a catty way.
I feel business is far from being related to business. Most issues and problems that I deal with are not even business related. I want to grow more with networking, more crafting ideas, more sales, more growth as a business overall.
I feel bombarded on all ends.
I feel tested, manipulated, interrogated, accused, harassed in a variety of ways including sexual harassment.
I almost feel I have to adjust and adapt all work experience to feeling so bombarded, the bombardment pattern never seems to end.
Yes, there are some sales, there is some literal business talk.
It is very draining though. Very draining.
I feel mostly tested with the race issue. Extremely hawkish race testing. I learned a new hat just last week. A Kufi hat. It was made to order and he hasn't met up with me yet. Fine, maybe I profiled a little. Until I have enough Kufis made to sell as themselves, I only pinpoint men that look foreign as arab, muslims, or africans. Look in wikipedia and see the literal description of the Kufi:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kufi
Women and the average white person do not typically wear them. OMG just shoot me why don't you.
Also, I did cat it down to say: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It is a lighter interpretation of: When life gives you Mo (sexual harassment and degradations), make mosaics. I'm not being a pervert with people. The mosaics are not meant to be sexually perverse. They are very abstract in design. I see how people of fame connect themselves to my art, but I have spent all summer making my mosaics. I was not the person who made the choice to connect my art to people.
After feeling harshly accused, one circular box almost looks like a swastika, but it is a lie. Its not a design I was even trying to make, it is not an ultimate design of a swastika. It was meant to be another swirly design.
I'm not talking about sexual harassment experienced today.
I pick up on small hints of people all of the time. It is not a direct insinuation, some people may not even consciously know what they are saying.
I have random purposeful distractions.
Awkard people and people who are difficult and complicated to have simple communication.
To top it off, is knowing I am being watched and even sometimes hearing the reactions of the people who watch me.
Sick of whoever the stupid leader is who is trying to give a Spanish Inquisition. I think it is the matrix man who should be the embarassed one.
Even when it is my own business, people still want to tell me what to do.
In networking and learning new places or crafting ideas, I do not mind suggestions.
But my business is MY BUSINESS.
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